


2 Emails, 1 Broken Nose

by deutschtard



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Funny, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:11:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deutschtard/pseuds/deutschtard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve didn't think anything was up when he got the email from Clint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	2 Emails, 1 Broken Nose

Steve had been adjusting well to the twenty-first century, really he had been. He could use the cellular telephone Tony had given him, he loved the CGI of the new movies that were out--the aliens looked so real!--and he really liked watching the Military Channel. He was still learning how to go through his email(he had been told not to sign up for anything, so the only emails he got were from the team and S.H.I.E.L.D.) but he’d gotten a lot better at that.

He still didn’t understand links, though. Making one little click could send you somewhere across the world, watching a camera feed from a different part of the universe, something that had been recorded on a device no bigger than the cellular phone he kept in his pocket. Fascinating. 

Steve didn’t think anything was up when he got the email from Clint:

 

 **To:**  Steve Rogers <captrogerssteve@shield.net>

**From:**  Clint Barton <hawkeye@shield.net>

 **Subject:**  Hey look at this, Cap

So you wanna learn about modern culture and stuff, right? I’m going to send you a link. You click on it with your mouse and it’ll take you to this video you should watch. But make sure Tony’s filming you for...posterity.

Clint --->

\-------------------------------------------

Steve furrowed his brows in confusion and clicked on the next email. The subject line was “The video link you click.”

Below there was a link to somewhere called YouTube, which he kind of sort of remembered seeing some videos from before, but no one had ever told him to be filmed while watching the videos. Was that what people were supposed to do? Maybe that’s why there were so many videos on the site, he’d seen a number somewhere in the billions. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Is Tony here?”

“Yes, sir, he’s currently just getting home,”

“Can you, uh,” he hesitated, “Can you have him come up here, please?”

“Certainly, sir.”

Almost as though he’d been broadcasting the question to the whole house, Tony popped in, “You wanted to see me, Cap?”

“Yeah, uh, Clint sent me this link to a video on YouTube, he told me to have you film my reaction. Is that what people do? Is that what you’re supposed to do?”

Tony’s eyebrows furrowed, the gears already working in his brain, “No, that’s not what you’re supposed to do. Lemme see that," he said, leaning over Steve's shoulder to look at the screen, "JARVIS what’s the title of the video linked in the email?” 

“2 Girls, 1 Cup, Sir.”

The look of horror on Tony’s face confused Steve. “Tony? Is that...why are you looking at the screen like that?”

“No, Steve,”

“No? It can’t be that bad, I’m sure the girls are just sharing a nice dri--”

“Steve,  _NO_. Just....No, Steve, you don’t understand... There’s some things about the present you don’t need to see. This is one of them. Delete that email, don’t click that link. I think Clint needs to have a little talking to,” he said, leaving the room before Steve got a chance to question him further.

****

 “Barton.”

Uh oh, that tone of voice was not a happy one. Clint didn’t know what he was in trouble for, but he was definitely in trouble for something. He decided to stay up in his hawk’s nest in the corner of the gym.

“Barton, I know you’re in here, get your ass down from your little hidey hole. You and I need to have a little bit of a talk,” Tony said, glaring up at him. 

Reluctantly, Clint got down, put a smile on his face, “What’s up, Tin man?”

“You’re trying to break Cap’s brain,”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,”

“I’m all for playing jokes on Gramps and embarrassing him, but there’s a few lines you don’t cross, and introducing him to coprophilia--”

“Copro _what_ ia?”

“Scat,” Tony said, “and watersports. That’s one of those lines you don’t cross. You don’t know, he could have a heart attack or lose his faith in the human race or something and then were would we be? With a depressed senior citizen locked up in his room playing Bing Crosby on his phonograph wishing for better days,”

Wow, Tony was actually getting angry, like, legitimately  _angry_ angry. Clint kind of smirked, “Okay,” he said, putting his hands up in concession, “I thought it would be funny. I thought you thought it would be funny, Stark, I--”

Tony interrupted him, “No, Clint. It’s fun to  _embarrass_  him, not scar him for life,”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re getting protective over hi--”

Before Clint even had a chance to respond, there was an explosion of pain in his face. What ha--Had Tony just hit him? He wiped at his face--ow, his nose was broken. Great--and saw blood, “Jesus, Stark,” but all he heard was the slam of the gym door as Tony left. He didn’t know Tony could hit that hard without the suit, “I guess I deserved that.”


End file.
